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Author Topic: Why would an infertile couple adopt an infant rather than use donor eggs and a surrogate?  (Read 38 times)
Anti_Adoption_Indu
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« on: April 29, 2011, 04:28:07 PM »

Did you hear about the singer Ricky Martin who is gay? He picked out an egg donor then had the eggs fertilized with his sperm and had a biologically unrelated surrogate mother gestate the babies in her womb. He got two healthy twin sons.

Why do infertile couples bother to adopt infants when there are options like donor eggs and surrogacy?


Using donors and surrogates......

The baby's mother-
Using donor eggs-- Is anonymous and the biological mother doesn't have to endure any psycological trauma and has no emotional connection to the baby. The adoptive parents don't have to worry about a birthmother showing up and breaking thier primary bond with the child. They can pick a mother who has had a through medical examination for heredity genetic defects, mental illness and drug use. The can view photos and pick a mother who is beautiful and who has a high IQ. All the egg donors I have seen in the catalogs are college graduates.

The baby's father--
The husband of the infertile woman. His wife's infertility shouldn't make him infertile too, he deserves to have his own bio babies. This is often very important to men.

The surrogate mother-- A pre screened healthy woman who doesnt drink or use drugs. She has most likely taken nutritional supplements and her body is in optimal condition for gestating and birthing healthy babies.

The adoption option--

The baby's mother-- An immature irresponsible young women most likely from  a Jerry Springer Show type of family. She will be extremly emotionally attached to her baby and is too immature to fully understand and cope with the boundaries of an open adoption relationship. Infant adoption is a catch 22. Mothers of good genetic stock aren't screwed up enough to give thier newborn babies away to strangers.....If a mother is unfit enough to give away her baby she is unfortunatly not only unfit enough to parent but is also unfit where she shouldn't be breeding and spreading her inferior genes. She is most likely a failure in school with a low IQ. I have read on adoption forums that if an adoptive couple checks off that they don't want a baby from a birthmother who has smoked  during her pregnancy that they will be on the waiting list for a long time....Birthmothers tend to come from families with drug abuse and alcholism. I have seen birthmother blogs and I have never seen an attractive birthmother. Most of them look like the trailer park white trash that they are. Ugly squirrely faces, buck teeth, obese etc. Birthmothers are deadbeat moms. Why would adoptive parents pay 30 grand for some loser's baby?

The baby's father---Not the infertile woman's husband but a pimply faced teenage horn dog who knocked up and dumped the birthmother. He is most likely a loser with a low IQ, history of problems with the law, and a drug and alcohol abuser.

With donor eggs and surrogacy thier baby comes from a genetic legacy of beauty, health and intellegence and is born by the miracle of science and a strong healthy surrogate.

With adoption the baby is born with a genetic legacy of underachievers, family abuse and irresponsiblity.

If a young women is too stupid and trashy to raise her baby then I think she should just have an abortion. I don't see anything wrong with killing embryos. The world is over populated and only the stupid people are breeding. I know infertile couples are desperate but please..... Next time you are shopping at Walmart look at the white trash there.... Pick out some random trashy teenager... say enie meanie minie mo I pick Y-O-U .... congratulations thats your birthmother! Do you want to raise her little crotch dropping? You probably wouldn't even want to use the bathroom after her.
 
An infertile couples best option would be IVF which also kills alot of embryos trying to get one birthed baby (no big deal) Then if that doesnt work then donor eggs used with a biologically unrelated surrogate mother.

Why even bother to adopt? Why not use donor eggs and a surrogate? Is money the issue? Is it too expensive?
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Smoker
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« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2011, 05:25:45 PM »

Not everyone is rich like Ricky

Surrogate mothers are expencive!!
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Marnie_B
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« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2011, 05:46:09 AM »

Is this a legitimate question or are you just trying to offend people? Do some research on adoption & birth mothers before you post a nasty rant like this, which by the way violates Yahoo Answers guidelines.
Speaking for me, I would much rather see couples adopt than use surrogates. We wanted to open our home to a child who had already been created that needed a family & we wanted to love her & raise her right from the start, which is why we chose to adopt a newborn. It didn't matter that she doesn't look like us or share our genes. I think using surrogates just so you can have a baby that shares your genes or looks like you is selfish when there are so many children who need families. And really, surrogacy is completely different from adoption, so it shouldn't even be a topic in the adoption section. Also, it's not always the woman who is infertile, sometimes it's the man. And not all couples who adopt are infertile, for some adoption happens to be a first choice.
My daughter's birthmom was not a "trashy teenager." She was a very nice, very attractive young woman with normal intelligence who never used drugs or alcohol & didn't smoke, who found herself unexpectedly pregnant by her boyfriend, who had a normal IQ & no drug problems. They realized they weren't ready to parent & made the choice to place their baby for adoption all by themselves.
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Anna_Mae
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« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2011, 06:18:09 AM »

This is horrible! Why should a child pay for his or her parent's mistakes? Your attitude is practically as bad as someone like Hitler. Just because someone doesn't have the best genetics they should just be tossed out? The idea that people must have their own blood child is arrogant and prideful. There are children out there who need a loving home. Who cares what they look like or who their real parents are?  How can you be so hateful? I bet you think "natural selection" should kill everyone who has disabilities too like those with dwarfism or downs syndrome. Choosing adoption means giving a child a better tomorrow and a chance to live a wonderful, successful life. The fact that you even have to ask this question is horrific.
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mikellie
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« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2011, 09:50:46 AM »

I have 3 children and am pregnant with my 4th.. i would definitely love to adopt some children... adopting a child you give them a home, a life and the love that they need and don't have...not all the children adopted come from an immature young mothers...i think people like yourself are just selfish and fucked up!!! A child is a child..and they all need someone to love and care for them whether they are your own blood or not!!
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___Sigy_the_Arctic
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« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2011, 10:23:40 AM »

I wonder what kind of parents trolls have?
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Teresa
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« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2011, 10:54:24 AM »

"His wife's infertility shouldn't make him infertile too, he deserves to have his own bio babies"- You made my soul vomit. People on this site constantly accuse AP's of entitlement, but have shown us all up. Surprisingly, sometimes deserving men have low sperm count while their wives are perfectly fertile.
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You_Can_t_Handle_T
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« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2011, 12:45:37 PM »

As others said, surrogacy is very expensive.  That aside, your question is disgusting, our daughter's birth mother is in no way trashy, trailer park trash, ugly or a junkie.  You can't ASSume things about people based on a stereotype.
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tish_part_deux
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« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2011, 12:51:26 PM »

so, it's ok to exploit broke women who sell their wombs and junk to make their mortgage payments; yet not ok to adopt womb-wet babies from "trashy teenagers?"


personally, i think they both are wrong.  

as is your attitude.

if you want to add dialog to the debate, you'll find that many empathize with your pain, yet choose not to dodge your  written "daggers."

as a "birthmother" who changed my  mind and decided to parent my child; i resent your assessment of pregnant women who make an adoption plan.
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MagnusMoss
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« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2011, 02:07:08 PM »

1.) Using a surrogatee is EXPENSIVE.  Remember, Ricky Martin is quite rich, and many things are an option for him that aren't an option for both.
2.) Some figure that if you can't have a child that is biologically yours, you might as well rescue achild that needs you.
You can say that people with unwanted pregnancies should abort...but the fact is, not all of them are.  Unless you want to make abortion mandatory for some couples (in which case who?) that is unlikely to change.  The kids exist, someone has to care for them.  
3.) Sometimes both parents are too old or infertile, or they donknow whichich one is the problem.  
4.) Sometimes the couple figures if the child can't be the child of both parents, it should be the biological child of neither, to keep things fair.  

You did touch on a seldom discussed issue.  If one parent is infertile, is it entirely fair to condemn the other parent to not having any children that are biologically theirs?
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BetheOne
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« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2011, 03:14:38 PM »

Yes, it can become quite expensive, a lot more than IVF. She should try hormone treatments by a reproductive endocrinologist to overcome any difficulties. Was the man even checked out?
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__
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« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2011, 04:03:09 PM »

If everyone did that, parent less babies will turn into parent less foster children.
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hoague_tuinstra
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« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2011, 04:11:02 PM »

It's amazing! Good Luck, cheers http://giftchoice.info/34335/beauty-health
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leslie
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« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2011, 04:34:45 PM »

i have a daughter but we just found out that my husband can't have kids. we were going to do ivf but it is so expensive and you have to have the money up front and insurance doesn't cover it. we are actually trying to adopt right now. there are plenty of kids who need parents and love. if you want kids bad enough it doesn't matter if they arent biologically yours.
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